Of Prophets and Profits

Yusuf L’Libbus

The 66 dollar (two dollars increment for questioning fee) question now is: is Muhammad a true prophet or just made everything up for profits? Remember that he was a very good merchant which caught the fancy of his first wife who was very much indeed in the mercantile profession. Let us therefore consider the many variables which could help us decide later on the question.

One must consider the now known fact that Muhammad had wanted to pass himself up as a Jewish prophet in Yathrib (later known as Medina). Not that his ministry has started just like that during his incumbency as a merchant but he had the tendency to be on the supernatural side, too. Aminah, his mother tolerated the impressions that her son was unique enough to make the Levanth shine on his birth. Of course, she is already given to making up superlative claims as she had claimed her husband to be the most handsome man in town. Whatever happened to his genes such that there are times that the prophet had to be insulted by his looks? Anyway, what was quite horribly remarkable when during his childhood his chest was opened and his heart removed and replaced, perhaps to purify him for his future role as a prophet. This and many more aggressions prompted his uncle to send his daughter off to be married to a poet from Yemen rather than yield to Muhammad’s passionate advances.

But Muhammad’s being called to become a prophet is yet another horror story. While Muhammad was in a cave, the angel Jebreel (Gabriel) came and asked him to read something which he could not for he was understandably illiterate. But the angel insisted and persisted such that he repeatedly manhandled him till he miraculously was able to read. When he came home, he was too fearful such that he had to change from one side of his lap to another, which was very manly of him. His wife listened pitifully to his traumatic experience in corporal punishment in learning and brought him to their Christian friend. This friend will provide the interpretation that he is being called forth for a noble task, that of being a prophet. Notice, dear readers that his very first witnesses to his prophetic calling were both not qualified to Islamic law of witnessing as one was a Christian and therefore an infidel and the other a mere woman, not to mention that she was her wife.

He then started his ministry as a prophet. Perhaps there was something wrong in the instructions given him or perhaps the beatings he received in the cave has greatly affected him such that he started proselytizing the Jews that had settled in Yathrib. But they were literate men and read their Torah very well and so he was easily rejected by them as a prophet. His embarrassing experiences with them will markedly make him abandon Jerusalem as the focus of worship in favor of Becca, and later on Mecca as Islam developed. Similarly, he had the same experience with the Christians because they knew about the coming of false prophets. His experiences with them however were profitable enough for they have given them a lot of their stories during their exchanges and these he employed to the ignorant pagans who marveled at how a traveling salesman could tell such fanciful tales. Later on, the Arab pagans of the desert have now their own body of knowledge which they can be proud of to contend with either Jews or Christians.

And with the recognition given him by the Arabs, he became more confident and worthy enough to be taught by Allah himself through Jibreel. Slowly but surely, the truth was dictated to him no less than by an angel sent by Allah. Unfortunately, however, he thought how it would profit him if he could not even convert his own tribe, the Quyrash and longed for their conversion. It was during these low moments of his life as a prophet when the devil contrived to influence him. Therefore, one time when he was standing by the idols worshipped by his own tribe he addressed them as inspired first by the angel of Allah but no sooner had he addressed the three goddesses (one was a drag queen) when the devil made him express platitudes for them making them worthy of intercession and worship. This is the event which is called the recitation of the Satanic verses which had become controversial until now. Muslim apologetics either regard the story as a mere contraption to discredit the prophet or accept the story to be true, as there is preponderance of written accounts, but point out to the fact that the verses in question were abrogated by the angel himself and it was explained as a test for the fidelity of Muslims and would be converts.

Critics of Islam however, are quick to point out that the isnads or references to it make it an authentic occurrence and that the principle of Isna, which is Islamic teaching, which makes the prophet not subject to any falsehood contradicts the prophet’s very actions. He was even conscious of what has transpired for a long time and rather enjoyed the seemingly true conversions of his own tribe. What took him so long in verifying about it when Jibreel is always there for him? Or did he make the conscious effort of making them feel good that he was in fact tolerant of the idols; because they belong to his own tribe so that in the end, he will be acceptable to them, too. Finally, Muslim apologists conclude that it was only a test for the idolatrous polytheists if they could still change their ways. Allah still needed to test them? What would it profit him or Jibreel?

In the final analysis, what is at stake here is Muhammad’s prophetic stance which when removed will undoubtedly decrease his personal profits; either psychological or material. As a prophet, he has much to gain from the people who accept him and not to be accepted meant he had nothing to gain. Yet, after the rebuke, he had to admit the devil-induced verses and worst he had exemplified an idolatrous act. In accordance with the book of Deutoronomy, a prophet that has shown these falsehoods must die but Allah still made him continue in his prophetic office. Allah must have the habit of condoning the prophet’s behavior especially one that contradicts the nature his role as a prophet.

It is apparent now that we can already resolve the issue whether Muhammad is a real prophet or not. If he was able to have been influenced by Satan in reciting the false verses then there is an irreparable proof that he is a false prophet. His having consciously done so, as he had admitted in fabricating the lies about the goddesses and aggravated by the fact that he prostrated himself before their idols makes it conclusive. But even if he were unconscious, or assuming that it was the devil itself which was the one who recited then, it is still conclusive that he is a false prophet. This is because the devil could actually use his person to spread the lies of polytheism and idolatry. How is it possible that a man chosen by Allah as his prophet does not know what he is talking about and seemed to have been a victim of devil possession. Had all these been possible because of some profiteering?

As if this is not enough, I would like the Muslims who were once my brethren before my conversion to Catholicism to consider the following deeds which I consider unworthy of a prophet:

  1. Made captives into slaves and even owning some of them.
  2. Had a woman murdered out of spiteful revenge.
  3. Led military campaigns to enforce his belief.
  4. Traded humans for profit.
  5. Allowed men to sacrifice their lives for as long as he can survive.
  6. Manipulated adopted son to divorce his wife so he can marry the wife.
  7. Prescribed camel urine as medicine.
  8. Taught that water remains pure despite feces, menses and rotting animals.
  9. Raped women.
  10. Practiced pedophilia.

I have only given here a score of profitable examples here but there are many more which are not for real prophets. If I am wrong, I still would not ask Allah for forgiveness because he had been wrong in choosing this man or has assigned an angel so erratic that he would even be afraid of the peaceful Canaan-pariah breed of dog. But I believe that the Muslims must have a second chance at being able to arrive at the Truth. May the Truth of Jesus Christ and the peace of the Virgin Mary be upon them all.

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